4 attributes I used to land the “perfect” job

Like many American millennials, I was often asked as a child, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Those same adults said, “If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.” The subtext was clear. Find your dream job and your dream life will soon follow.

I watched my mom leave for work every day in a dress suit and heels and imagined myself growing up to be a busy professional like her (albeit the details of my future career were a bit fuzzy). Little did I know, the road to finding this ubiquitous “dream job” would be winding and filled with potholes.

In my 14-year career, I’ve had 11 jobs and 8 employers. And after years of trial and error, I’ve discovered a few  qualities — 4 to be exact — that led me to land my perfect job. 

Confidence without intention = career dissatisfaction

Confidence is my natural predisposition. For as long as I can remember, I’ve charged (sometimes blindly) towards each new goal — certain I could achieve it. And for the most part, it’s  worked out. But each achievement came with significant trade-offs. 

When I wanted to make more money, I found a corporate job with a fantastic salary. But the work was soul crushing and tedious. When I left that job for a seemingly more fulfilling role at a nonprofit social enterprise, I took a 50% pay cut and gained a laundry list of job duties better suited for a small team.

When I wanted to try something more creative, I joined an advertising agency with talented and passionate designers who helped me embrace my artistic side. But stress from the job drove me to the edge of a mental breakdown. 

Nearly every goal I set, I achieved. Yet I was always unhappy with the outcome. Once it became clear that each job was not the one, I quit. “It’s a numbers game,” I said. I bounced from job to job thinking the next one would surely be the perfect fit. After a few years of this, my tune began to change.

“Is it me?” I asked friends who managed to stay at their jobs for longer than a year. “Are my expectations too high?”

As my tenure at each company grew shorter, and my resume longer, I realized that while I had the confidence to leave jobs that made me unhappy, I lacked the intention to know what I was striving for.

I had a vague idea that I’d like some semblance of work-life balance. I wanted to wake up every day excited to collaborate, solve problems and maybe even help people. But that didn’t narrow it down much.

After switching roles 5 times in 4 years, I was burnt out. Realizing the path I was on was not sustainable, I began looking inward to discover what I needed to be content in my career.

A glimpse at a different kind of life

In 2018, while visiting my sister and her glass-artist boyfriend, Jonathan at their home in Pittsboro, North Carolina, I caught a glimpse at what my life could look like.

When I asked Jonathan what it was like making his living blowing glass, he told me most days he drank morning coffee from his hot tub while watching deer and other woodland creatures playing in his yard.

After breakfast he worked on his art for a couple hours or taught a class. The rest of the day he spent tending his garden, playing music or visiting with friends. Periodically, he would jet-set off to places like Thailand and Croatia to backpack or ride motorcycles for a couple months.

“What a dream!” I thought, comparing his life to my days spent on mind-numbing conference calls encased in a sea of beige cubicles. At the time, his lifestyle felt impossible for me to achieve. But a seed was planted.

2 years later, COVID hit. I had just started a new gig at a cutthroat in-house advertising agency when the world went remote.

As my husband was living his bliss — barely working from home, baking bread and brainstorming his next album — I was chained to my dining room table stuck in a Groundhog Day-esq loop of writing and revising copy.

2020 felt like one big dumpster fire and after 10 months, I was done. I thought, “maybe Jonathan has such a great life because he’s his own boss.” So I gave my 2-weeks notice and started freelancing full time. 6 months later, that too had grown old.

I contemplated a complete career change. Maybe I needed to go back to school and do something totally different. Maybe my career choice was the issue.

Then it occurred to me: maybe it’s not about landing “the perfect job” so much as envisioning the life I want outside of work and choosing the job that best fits that lifestyle. 

Turning intention into manifestation

Manifesting career success — whatever that looks like to you — requires reflection, specificity and visualization. You have to know what you’re aiming for before you can achieve it. 

Thinking back to my conversation with Jonathan, my gears started turning. I considered how I could fold aspects of his life into my own. Channeling his sense of adventure, I imagined myself working from a treehouse nestled in the Costa Rican rainforest or gazing over my laptop at Lake Superior from a dome house on the coast of Northern Minnesota.

As much as I was dissatisfied with my career, it could theoretically support this lifestyle. Surely, I could find something tolerable within my current skill set. I knew I was done with marketing. I knew I wanted to work remotely. I knew I wanted to be employed by a company and not myself (probably a big one with realistic job expectations).

I wanted to do something collaborative but not necessarily creative, at least not in the traditional sense. I wanted to be compensated well and I wanted a company culture that permeated compassion — both for its employees and customers. 

Once I identified what I wanted my life and next job to look like, everything changed. I immediately rewrote my LinkedIn summary to be more values focused. I updated my Indeed job profile and started applying to remote roles that looked interesting.

Job hunting can be exhausting but it saved me so much wasted time explicitly stating what I was looking for instead of what I thought employers wanted to hear.

Then I sat back and waited. Within a few days, messages began filling my LinkedIn inbox. Companies all over the country were hiring permanent remote employees, and they were interested in me! 2 weeks later, feeling cautiously optimistic, I accepted an offer to work as a UX content strategist for one of the nation’s top pharmacy chains. 

Patience: the yin to perseverance’s yang 

As hard as it has been to start over… and over… and over again, I'm grateful for where this bumpy, winding road has taken me — and the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Perseverance has taught me to keep striving for something better, even when the going gets tough and it seems easier to just stay put. I’m still learning from Patience how to slow down, get out of my own way and trust that my future will unfold in its own perfect timing. 

Perseverance without patience drives you forward but misses the destination. Patience without perseverance turns to inertia.

Like a yin and yang, both of these qualities are necessary to maintain balance and help achieve the outcome you desire. I’ve accepted too many job offers, ignoring red flags because I thought I didn’t have any better options. What I know now is that you always have options. Sometimes they just take time to present themselves. 

Intention and confidence. Perseverance and patience. The thing about these four attributes is, while each one is strong on their own, they have to work in tandem to get you where you want to go.

Reaping the fruits of my labor 

If someone asked me when I was in college where I’d be today, I would have said living in Washington D.C. probably working a grueling schedule as a communications director for some politician or lobbying group.

I look at that version of my future now and cringe. I now realize that vision was steeped in external validation. It was a dream based on what society deemed success, not what truly makes me happy. 

Today, I live in a mid-sized city with a slow pace and reasonable cost of living. I enjoy leisurely mornings and afternoon walks. I take meetings from my backyard while watching my dogs play. I work hard but never put my employer’s needs before my own.

I have the flexibility to work where I choose (for the most part), a reasonable workload, fair compensation and a team of compassionate people who make me feel valued.

I enjoy a full life that includes side hustles, travel and quality time with loved ones. I have more energy to devote to my work and my passions outside of it.

Some days are still challenging. But overall, I’m filled with a sense of joy and abundance. For me, this is what career success looks like. It’s not perfect. But for the life I’m striving for right now, it’s perfect for me.